Expectations

When I was younger, I played alot of team sports and I was always a very nervous athlete.

Now, whether it be in a Triathlon or Marathon, I don't get nervous. At all.

Most that have spoken to me prior to a race would say, I become quite quiet, but have an overall sense of calm about me.

Why?

Well, I believe it to stem from expectations. In the sports I did play as a youngster, I excelled, and I think subconsciously I really felt the weight of that.
I didn't want to let my team mates down, I didn't want the team to suffer as
a result of my poor performance.
What it boils down to is a fear of failure. It can be truly suffocating.

In individual sports, such as triathlon, there are no team mates that I could potentially let down, should I not perform. I can only let down myself, which I sometimes do as I am my own harshest critic.

I set my own personal bar very high.

I strive for personal excellence.

Should I consiuder something a failure on a whole, I always ensure there is some aspect of that I take away as a positive. Sometimes that may boil down to something as simple as "I know not to do somethng stupid like that next time, I have learnt my lesson".

A learning through a failure is a positive driver in my eyes.

Truth be told, all those years ago my team mates probably had no expectations of me, it was all in my head. We were kids, they were as self-involved in their own performance as I was in mine, it's just that my personality type meant that that manifested itself in me somehow feeling a sense of needing to carry the team due to possibly being more talented than them in certain aspects.

But talent is relative.

So is failure.

A disappointing result in my books may be the pinnacle of a sporting achievement for someone else. I think it's important to never lose sight of that.

This Sunday I'm running the Gold Coast Marathon.

I'm not nervous.
I feel no weight.
I have a healthy expectation of myself.
I'll strive to achieve personal excellence on the day.